Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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