She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
