hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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