So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
