i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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