He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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