im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
