We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
