I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Shame - the story of my life.
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