Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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