I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
