party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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