That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
