Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
