ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
