wat bout pragnant strippers??
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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