currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
