She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
