hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We have started to decorate penises.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
