Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
birth control should be required to get into college
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
