I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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