After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
