I think I died a long time ago.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
