Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
