I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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