We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My vagina is officially offended.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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