sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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