Whats the glycemic index on semen?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize