is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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