I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
