ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Im part way to drunk.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
