you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
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