Don't you send me to vm
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
