Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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