Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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