I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
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Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
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I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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