went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
