just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize