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Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
