remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
