i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
