He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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