im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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