like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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