I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
