try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
