i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
