I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
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He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
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you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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