Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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