He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
