she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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