it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
