We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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