The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
