is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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