At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We just shotgunned beers for America
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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