K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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