Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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