Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
