he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My boob is missing a layer of skin
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
