I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
