I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
