I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
false alarm, still single
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize