im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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