How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
what day is it and did you see me today?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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