you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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