the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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